You & birthdays & life.

It has been over a year since my last post and I can't even think of a reason why.

It's quite humorous actually because each time I write a new post it is because I am so incredibly lost.

So much has happened in the time I have been away and it always blows my mind how quickly life passes You by. 

I would do anything to be in the exact same moment, at this exact same time last year. 

I can't. I can't. I can't. I am so frustrated. My mind continues to consume itself in my own thoughts. I just wish I can strategically file them away. Sometimes I just want to scream because I don't know where I am supposed to be. Will I ever be content? Will anything ever just feel right?

Today's date is a very special one to me. November 5th. It fills me with happiness but kills me with sadness just as quickly. 

I sit at red lights and think. I stand in the shower and think. I lay in my bed and just think. Please tell me I am not the only one?

you know they say ignorance is bliss and perhaps those who are ignorant are the lucky ones...

What is most important to me now, is You. You are the reason all of this became. You are the reason I am the way that I am...You are the reason that I am currently smiling of happiness all while my eyes well up with tears full of sadness because today is your day. 

You. You. You.

If You can somehow hear me through all the noise, then I am content...for now. 

xoxo,

Melanie