You & birthdays & life.

It has been over a year since my last post and I can't even think of a reason why.

It's quite humorous actually because each time I write a new post it is because I am so incredibly lost.

So much has happened in the time I have been away and it always blows my mind how quickly life passes You by. 

I would do anything to be in the exact same moment, at this exact same time last year. 

I can't. I can't. I can't. I am so frustrated. My mind continues to consume itself in my own thoughts. I just wish I can strategically file them away. Sometimes I just want to scream because I don't know where I am supposed to be. Will I ever be content? Will anything ever just feel right?

Today's date is a very special one to me. November 5th. It fills me with happiness but kills me with sadness just as quickly. 

I sit at red lights and think. I stand in the shower and think. I lay in my bed and just think. Please tell me I am not the only one?

you know they say ignorance is bliss and perhaps those who are ignorant are the lucky ones...

What is most important to me now, is You. You are the reason all of this became. You are the reason I am the way that I am...You are the reason that I am currently smiling of happiness all while my eyes well up with tears full of sadness because today is your day. 

You. You. You.

If You can somehow hear me through all the noise, then I am content...for now. 

xoxo,

Melanie

7.

So here I am 7 months since my last post....

I can't even to begin to describe what a roller coaster I have been on.

If You would have asked me 7 months ago, "are you sure you're ready to embark on this journey?"

 With no hesitation, my answer would've been... "no!"

...but here I am.

I can't take back any decisions I've made, I can't erase any mistakes, I can't relive any experiences. The only thing left to do is to keep moving forward.

7...

They say 7 is a lucky number and maybe it is. I had completely ignored my blog for 7 months yet today something reminded me about it.

...It brought me back to my center...it reminded me of my purpose.

Although I have been so lost, although I have been suffering, I am so grateful for 7...for it was the number 7 that led me back to You ;) 

embracing it.

Forgive my absence. 

Isn't just insane how quickly things can change?

Your whole world can change in a minute and you can never really be prepared for Change.

Change can be beautiful.
Change can be passionate.
Change can be intimidating.
Change can scare the shit out of you.
Change can take your breath away.
Change can make you smile.
Change can destroy you.

Change is apart of life. Whether or not you desire it; CHANGE MUST OCCUR! 

The only constant in life is Change and at a time where everything is changing around me, (good & bad) I find some peace knowing that I am experiencing one of the most magical aspects of life.

I am NOT claiming that I am not suffering because this hurts. I also admit that this fork I've encountered is pretty damn dreadful. However, this is the FIRST TIME EVER that I endure these emotions. I am scared shitless and I do not have any resolutions, I have no safe haven to run to. I am completely lost from what I thought was "myself" but was really my routine life.  The only thing I can do is embrace the Change. Breathe it, feel it, live it and GIVE IN. 

Perhaps I feel this way because I am a big believer in things happen for a reason. So the only thing I can do is just ....

Embrace the Change.

I'll keep you posted on how me and this "Change" character are getting along....

Until next time,

Melanie
xoxo

here goes nothing.

I have decided to start a blog.
Don't ask me why.

Perhaps its because as I am typing this, the 2012 Summer Olympics is blaring from my television and I feel a bit pathetic that I have yet to accomplish something huge at 21 but 16 year olds are winning gold medals for his/her country.

I also don't know where this spark of motivation came from either but I feel like I want to begin crossing some things off my bucket list. Although I have yet to create my bucket list, I am certain it will include the cliche i.e. sky diving, running a 5k, learning a new language, etc.

So I guess the answer to why I have decided to start a blog is because I want to let go and enjoy life. So cheers to doing things outside of your comfort zone.

Until tomorrow folks.
xoxo

"Life begins at the end of your comfort zone" -Neale Donald Walsch

p.s. Perhaps my next post will be my official bucket list! (insert clapping here)

p.p.s. This whole writing out your emotions thing feels pretty good ;)